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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234198">Power and Control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkofthecrow/pseuds/darkofthecrow'>darkofthecrow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Better, M/M, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Movie: Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sith Anakin Skywalker, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Shenanigans (Star Wars), Slow Burn, The Dark Side of the Force, Unreliable Narrator, i am crying while thinking about what i am going to write</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkofthecrow/pseuds/darkofthecrow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Clone Wars are about to begin. This time, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi will have a most important role in the onset of the war and Darth Sidious' plan and are going to fight on Separatist lines. Or aren't they? In the meantime, they will have to come to terms with their past, clouded in misunderstandings, and shape their future, which might shine bright in treachery.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I Do Not Know What I Am Doing.<br/>i mean i kind of do, but i still don't. it's the first actually serious fanfiction i write and i am afraid to fuck it up</p><p>Also some stuff</p><p>- it's not beta'd and i am Not a native english speaker pleasepleaseplease point out errors I Beg You</p><p>- i do not have much of a plot forward but i have the backstories, how it all goes it's up to the characters not me </p><p>- might go explicit?? idk i will warn if i do tho</p><p>i'm done, enjoy i guess</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Do you know why the plan went awry?"</p><p>"Please enlighten me."</p><p>"Because you never listen to me!"</p><p>Obi-Wan is deflecting blaster bolts coming from seemingly everywhere while Anakin is fixing their craft's hyperdrive.</p><p>"I am so very sorry, oh great Lord Metis, if your plan fucking sucked!"</p><p>He just didn't think through his actions, too proud to believe anyone would dare sabotage their ship while they were still discussing what was to be done in the cockpit. Obi-Wan is red with anger and strain. </p><p>"I beg you, Anakin, just fix the damn thing and shut your mouth!"</p><p>Obi-Wan is about to scream: the way the young man gets on his nerves just by standing around with his smugness and self-entitlement is already too much to bear, but his defiance of authority is just what he needs to make him reach his limit. There is a reason if Obi-Wan is always the one in charge of the plan; it isn't as if on a whim he suddenly decided to take the lead. He should have known Anakin would get them in trouble, but arguing on an almost perfect plan while pirates were clearly surrounding them and rearranging whatever they could of their craft without making blatant noise was not how he thought the situation would unravel. </p><p>"Done, it was easy, no need for any replacement." Anakin shrugs.</p><p>"You should thank the Force that this scum seems not to have much experience with this ship model or we would have been killed either here or back on Serenno." Obi-Wan, at this point, is fuming.</p><p>The younger smirks, "Don't make such a fuss, old man. You might get even more wrinkles if you keep that frown for much longer." </p><p>"I'm going to kill him sooner or later," mumbled Metis under his breath.</p><p>"Excuse me? Didn't hear you." Anakin mockingly pointed to his ear while leaning excessively towards the older man. </p><p>"Get on the fucking ship!"</p><p>—</p><p>The fact that he is already named while Anakin isn't brings much pride to Obi-Wan. </p><p>He is aware that it is a rather childish thought, so it's something he keeps to himself. Lesser men would shove in their rival's face their title, but he is no lesser man. He has learned to behave in a certain manner and while the Sith are no humble creatures, Obi-Wan can't help but remember his Jedi training. He never really gave it up. He still renounces his emotions into the Force, sometimes, when they are overwhelming. He values control over raw power. What is the point in having the world at your feet if, in the end, nothing can come from it? Power is something really marvellous and more articulate than control, but one cannot afford to have the former without the latter. The thing is, control comes exclusively from within. In the end, you are your own master, you have the last word on every action, emotion, thought, but one has to work for it. You must allow your consciousness to have the upper hand on the situation, always. It's not easy: the instinct to either lash out or make himself as small as possible is always there, compelling him to act not as he should. As much Jedi-like as this sounds, Obi-Wan cherishes it as his dearest teaching. On the other hand, power, well, is something else entirely. Almost everyone holds some sort of power, be it social, emotional, political, economical. Power comes from all places. It's not something you achieve, it's something you earn. Obviously one must behave in a certain way, have a specific kind of characteristics, but all power does not come from within. Therefore, one must work for his control in order to be in the place to earn power.</p><p>Obi-Wan smiles at himself, sprawled on the sheets of his bed in Dooku's palace and staring at the ceiling. </p><p>However, what has obvious roots in a Jedi way of life, is enriched by his own experience. </p><p>A soft creak. </p><p>"You have to come." Anakin's head suddenly peeks out from behind the door. It's the first time in a week that he has spoken to the other man. He didn't knock.</p><p>Obi-Wan doesn't lower his eyes. "I really do not have to do anything, Anakin."</p><p>"Sidious."</p><p>Anakin leaves the door open, already making his way fast towards the main hall of the palace. Hearing the reason of the summoning, with a sigh Obi-Wan is on his way as well. </p><p>Obi-Wan really does appreciate Anakin's tendency to make his sentences as concise as possible while talking to him. He really does. But he cannot help but notice that it won't do him much good: he has very few interactions with people and most of them are with Obi-Wan himself. He might find the boy irritating and hateful, but he is able to feel pity for him, imagining how his first attempt at any kind of negotiation will go. </p><p>Soon Tyranus, Anakin and Obi-Wan are gathered around the holoprojector, kneeling in front of the hooded figure flickering in the middle. They have already given the report of their utterly unsuccessful mission, so he really does not understand why the man is comming. Shouldn't he have a lot of work to do with the Senate? Obi-Wan's distaste for politics and politicians prevents him from finding an answer by himself. </p><p>"My Apprentices," Palpatine's voice, somehow, is both hissing and growling. Obi-Wan feels goosebumps crawling up his spine and, judging from how they feel in the Force, the other two men are feeling similarly uncomfortable, "I have great news."</p><p>"What are they, my Lord?" Sidious jerks his shadowed face towards Anakin: he doesn't seem to be minding the interruption, his figure seemingly loosing tension from the reminder that the prodigal son is here as well. Obi-Wan grimaces. </p><p>"Our plan is ready to come into motion."  Obi-Wan shuts his eyes, his temples starting to pound. He knew the day would come, he's always known. But he is not ready. There is reassurance in routine, there is control. He is not ready to give it up. In front of him, now, stands the unknown. They are not fully aware of their Master's plan, there have always been things he avoided saying. Maybe Tyranus has more informations, but Obi-Wan doesn't feel like risking it. He is suddenly grateful for his kneeling position, because he doesn't know if he is able to contain the tears threatening to gather in his eyes from the stress of the situation. His chest feels dangerously tight. He does not believe he would be able to speak if demanded to. </p><p>"The Jedi have accepted to put Senator Amidala under the protection of one of my most trusted guards, but only if flanked with one of their own. Now, you can very well understand that neither Lord Tyranus nor Lord Metis are suitable for this very important role. Therefore, Skywalker, my boy, under the false name of Starkiller, you will have the key role that will ensure the success of our plan: you will have to guide the Jedi where we want them to be, Kamino and then Geonosis, befriend the Senator if possible and don't let the Jedi nor her find out who you are. While Lord Tyranus has other assignments, Lord Metis will accompany you on Coruscant, as a counsellor. He won't be able to intervene, obviously, but he could be of help. Don't disappoint me."</p><p>The blue holo flickers one last time and disappears. Obi-Wan has barely the time to take it all in that Anakin has already jumped at his side, slapping his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. </p><p>"Wow! First kinda-solo mission! Can't wait." he laughs, starting to hop towards his room deeper in the castle.</p><p>"Yeah, can't wait..."</p><p>"What was that, old man?" Anakin shouts from almost the other end of the corridor.</p><p>"Ugh!" Obi-Wan sighs in despair, rubbing his eyes and trying to smooth the tense expression he is almost certainly wearing massaging his cheeks and mouth with his dark sleeves. He cannot afford to panic: yes, he is aware that many things are most likely about to go sour, but he must regain his control, keep his composure, at least as long as Tyranus is around. </p><p>"He's only 19. He won't be able to keep up." Obi-Wan suddenly turns facing the source of the voice. Tyranus is looking at him with an almost scared expression, in which he recognises the unfaithfulness in his Apprentice's ability to control himself and to keep a façade without falling apart, both himself and his fake persona. </p><p>"I agree, but it seems we don't have another choice nor a say in it whatsoever."</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>"Yes you did! Please don't lie to me-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No Anakin, I-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A lightsaber is ignited.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stay there! Don't come closer."</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan suddenly wakes up, panting, sweating, jerking his head around to check his surroundings. A rather empty room, light walls, dark forniture, two paintings of Stwjon's sunset and sunrise, a large window with the curtains drawn. It's his room, as he left it the day before.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a dream. It's not happening now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes a moment for Obi-Wan to cling to reality and for his breath to resume a steady rhythm. He hadn't dreamt of that moment in years. When he is able to fully grasp what has happened, Obi-Wan leaps up from the bed and starts pacing around, fists clenched, muscles contracted, his Force signature a heavy cloud of fury and confusion. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Why this? Why now? Is it supposed to mean something? It has to, but I don't want it to. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's too much for him, right now. Slowly the events of the previous day start turning back to him and he feels like he could explode. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets out a dry sob and, reaching with the Force, snatches all the sheets and the mattress off the bed, leaving them to lie on the floor. His eyes are wide open and he wants to scream, oh how he wants to </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>scream</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and sits on the floor, legs crossed, concentrating to release his emotions into the Force. The act gives him momentary peace, enough for him to settle down on the coarse rug. He falls asleep there, uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Peace is a lie, there is only passion</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's just what he deserves. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>leave kudos and comments hehe it's very appreciated</p><p>you might want my social media @s? idk<br/>@xwillgrahamxy is my tumblr blog which i might start using??</p><p>till next time pals</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pov change!!</p><p>also the unreliable narrator tag applies to both obi-wan and anakin (they lie to themselves a lot), but mostly obi-wan he feeds himself so much bullshit i am already sick of him :D</p><p>enjoy ~~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day started out perfectly.</p><p>Anakin got up, stretched right beside his bed, went for a run around the palace and practiced some katas and lightsaber velocities. He also focused on new stuff: he is eager to learn more about Makashi, even if it doesn't suit his style really well, the precision required revealing itself to be tricky for him, used to the powerful strikes of Shien and Djem So, and the lack of acrobatics clashing with his natural leaning to incorporate Ataru in his fights. He wanted so much to keep himself occupied and do something that he even tried to learn all of the names of the Marks of Contact even if now, at lunch time, the only one he remembers is Mou Kei, the dark variant involving cutting off several limbs at once. He went on with practicing Sokan, the use of one's surroundings as a weapon, because when he had first read of it he found out that, used along with Ataru, it is particularly useful; all of Obi-Wan's babbling about the high ground also had a role in this, but he would never admit it. </p><p>He stretches his legs under the table while leaning back in his chair, the food he's been devouring almost finished. Thinking about this training sessions he performs alone always brings new light to his vision of the Jedi: he has gone over almost all of Dooku's datacards on Jedi training in Force and lightsaber abilities; he has seen some about philosophy, the Three Pillars and other bantha shit, but he really couldn't be bothered to read them, even less then the ones on Sith philosophy, most of which still lie somewhere in his room, abandoned and forgotten. Really, Sidious and Dooku should thank the Force that he took the time to learn the Sith Code. Probably Obi-Wan is more focused about his lack of concentration and control to care about his outright hate for anything theoretical. Not that Anakin cares about what the old man thinks of him. </p><p>He took the time to download only one datacard regarding Jedi philosophy: he spent that day of five years ago stuck on his datapad, greedy to know as much as he could. It was an analysis of the Jedi Code. He skipped through the first four core precepts and focused only on the last one. <em>There is no death, there is the Force.</em> He was fascinated. He had picked up something similar from some of Darth Plagueis' datapads, but he wasn't really interested in altering and creating life, not at all. In that moment, he just craved understanding. It was still a rather dark period and he hadn't recovered from <em>that</em> yet. It was good to know that someone believed that to die meant to become part with the Cosmic Force, it was reassuring. Something he could hold on to.</p><p>Also, without really minding the text, he scrolled through the pictures of the rest of the volume: most of those were of different kind of lightsabers or depicting the life inside a temple. He found out that he really despises Jedi fashion: too many layers, colours too bright. That style reminds him of how Obi-Wan is usually dressed, only he mostly wears dark brown, black or even a deep shade of purple. <em>Still better than Dooku's stupid cloak.</em> He remembers Padawan braids, having worn one himself even if for a really short period of time, but when he was a kid it just seemed cute, twenty-year-olds made it look dumb. And if that isn't enough torture, there is also that horrible ponytail. He had run his fingers through his curls, a bit shorter then than the chin length hair he has now, grateful for having been spared that disgrace of a haircut now that he is an adult. He had also thought of Obi-Wan, when he had first met him. <em>Yeah, the mullet suits him better. </em></p><p>Speaking of the devil, Obi-Wan enters the dining room, glaring at Anakin with admonishment for poking his food while lost in thought. </p><p>"If it bothers you, don't look," Anakin snaps only after the other has stopped his pacing and made obvious his staring, moving to look at him only at this point. </p><p>Seeing the old man makes Anakin's chest heavy. He believes that just thinking about him and his past don't produce this same reaction because he still idealises him, somehow. Even after what he's <em>done.</em> Obviously at this point Anakin has overcome it, he's at peace with it. Still, it's not as if tomorrow he's going to forgive Obi-Wan. Nor ever. He accepts it as something that has happened and holds a grudge on the man for his agency in it. Sometimes he is just <em>furious</em> and wants to stick his lightsaber in the other's chest, most times he prefers to do what he does best: being a pain in Obi-Wan's ass. Anakin has noticed that the other really hates the fact that Anakin completely ignores what he's done, bickers with him as though they're old friends, as though they're friends at all. So he does just that. It gets on Obi-Wan's nerves the same way as ignoring direct orders, going around the palace completely covered in oil and dust and other things that bump heads with his idealistic vision of life. So he does just that. Make the Stewjoni asshole feel like he has no control and he sure as Hell will loose <em>all of it</em>. Anakin has mastered this art in the last years, after he went over the first phase when he just wanted Obi-Wan erased from the galaxy.</p><p>To make his point clearer, Anakin starts making the food levitate, at first towards the ceiling, then around himself, as if he were the planet to an asteroid ring. </p><p>"That's improper," Obi-Wan scolds him. </p><p>"Is it?" Anakin smirks, redirecting the food to orbit around Obi-Wan's head.</p><p>Obi-Wan looks tired, as if he has just woke up and has had the worst night of his life, and if at first there were some fragments of calm in his reprimanding expression, now they have faded leaving his grey eyes to shine in blood rimmed gold. </p><p>Anakin feels himself floating a few centimetres over the chair, now laid on the ground from his legs wriggling; then he senses the Force bending and he goes flying across the room, his back pressed against the wall, supported there lifted from the ground by a strong hold on his chest. He is suddenly out of breath, the Force against his torso pressing his lungs. </p><p>Obi-Wan starts stalking closer, his arm extended towards him. The food is sadly on the ground, but Anakin feels a slight of satisfaction knowing that, in the end, Obi-Wan hasn't achieved what he wanted. </p><p>"You will listen <em>very</em> carefully," Obi-Wan hisses, looking up at Anakin's annoying smirk, "I am fucking tired of everything, but especially of you. We are to leave tomorrow, so if you would kindly allow me to spend my last decent day, indeed, decently, I would be most grateful."</p><p>"Yeah, but," Anakin coughs, "you know with me being at the Senator, we wouldn't really see each-"</p><p>"Shut up, I don't wanna hear your voice!" Obi-Wan's timbre comes out as a scream with the last three words, his face red and his breath heavy. His golden eyes have never been so crimson. </p><p>Anakin vaguely wonders <em>what right he has,</em> but his thought are cut short by Obi-Wan dropping him on the ground and storming out of the dining room. Anakin is tempted to follow. He is <em>furious.</em> Oh, how much he would like to sink his lightsaber in Obi-Wan's heart and watch him cringe as he looks down at the cauterised hole in his chest. How much <em>pleasure</em> it would give him. He has thought of it, more than anything else in his life. More than how much it hurts to feel as much as he does and that is a thing that never leaves his mind. But he forces himself to calm down, to think and reflect. He does just that, sat with his back against the wall he has just been pressed and his legs folded against his chest. He hugs his knees and leaves his head to hang forward. That's why he does that, right? The reason why he <em>pokes</em> and <em>teases</em> Obi-Wan and doesn't kill him. Because he would be killed in turn, yes, because Dooku and Sidious wouldn't take it lightly, and he cherishes the privilege to be favoured by the latter. But deep down he also knows he wouldn't be able to kill the man, no matter how much they hate each other. Seeing Obi-Wan perish would hurt as much as it hurts to know what he did.</p><p>At the same time, knowing that the man is able to loose his cool only with Anakin, that only Anakin is a challenge to his control and <em>only Anakin</em> can get true and genuine reactions out of him, makes him feel powerful. All of Obi-Wan's fixation with self control and reigning one's emotions and reactions really feels useless and fake. Also unhealthy, but Anakin doesn't think he's in the place to judge that. </p><p>—</p><p>"I really can't understand what I have done to him. I mean, this has been going on for years now, it's not the first time I'm asking myself this. But I believe it's the first time I ask you. He doesn't get a saying on how I feel about him, obviously, but I do on how he feels about me. It doesn't make sense to me. I remember that day. Clearly. Yes, maybe I lashed out, lost control, but I don't know what I did to him. I am the one who should be crawling at his throat and shout at his face, but I am not, because I can deal with my emotions, unlike someone. All his talks about control and that's what it gets him. Nothing. I can't understand him, seriously. I don't even know why he left the Jedi in the first place, I know nothing of him! No, I don't resent him in any way for his choice, Force, those monks are crazy. Maybe that's the thing, he's still somehow influenced by what they taught him. I don't think they can handle emotions very well either and the whole thing of giving them into the Force seems stupid. Does the Force get something out of it? Do <em>you</em> get something out of it? To me it looks like weakness. They are all about selflessness, aren't they? Well, if you can be selfless only if you don't have attachments and emotions, maybe you shouldn't be a peacekeeper, or warrior, politician, whatever they think they are. I can put the grater good first. Isn't it what I've been doing by not killing Obi-Wan? My Master, apparently, needs him. So here he stands, alive. It's the only thing that kept me from doing something I would regret, that first year. And yes, back then I would have actually killed him, no second thoughts. He couldn't have got away with what he did, it was righteous for his life to end. A life for a life. But it wasn't what the Force, or Sidious, or both, wanted. But I'm steering too far away from my initial point. He has no reason to hate me. Yeah I'm a pain in his ass, as he deserves, but not one to incite murder. It's all fun and games, but only so much. I shouldn't be thinking about this, though. Apparently hating me is a pondered decision and one he doesn't regret taking. Moving to happier topics, tomorrow we are leaving for Coruscant. I haven't been there in forever. I'm kinda excited, because I'll get to see Palpatine in person again and also there's gonna be <em>Padmé</em> and I'll get to spend all my time with her. Obi-Wan can suck a dick, he won't ruin this, I'll keep him as far away as I can, all the time. He will have to, actually, but I'll really make sure of that. I don't need his help, Sidious should have known. I guess I'm done for today. Even if I'm positive you can't hear me, I bid you goodnight."</p><p>Anakin falls asleep almost immediately, his blanket tucked under his chin and facing the ceiling darkened by the night; a sad smile lingers on his lips.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i think about this 24/7 and i have so many details and plot points that i can't make sense out of them, but the sad things is that they're all of the past ~~</p><p>so now that i get into the actual plot i believe it will take longer to make everything clear, i have the big thing but not how to get there</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Obi-Wan notices is that the hangar feels heavy in the Force. It's not the first time he's been here since that day of six standard years ago, but Anakin's presence makes it feel like it is. Maybe it's just his own emotions, or even Anakin's. Or maybe what happened here left a scar in the Force.</p><p><em>Don't talk, I don't wanna hear your voice</em>.</p><p>Last night Obi-Wan had another nightmare. Another memory. The words he heard seem to roar in his mind as they do in the space around him. </p><p><em>Don't even look at me</em>.</p><p>The ship they're taking is the same he used that time. A surge of anger rises in his chest, but it's not the time, not the place, so he releases it in the Force, adding more despair to the already damaged area. </p><p>The vessel is a G9 Rigger-class light freighter that hasn't made atmo in years, since Obi-Wan has never used it again, Tyranus has his own ship and Anakin has always been accompanied by either of them when leaving the planet. They call it the <em>Twilight</em>, but in Obi-Wan's opinion <em>Shatterpoint</em> would be more fitting. </p><p>"There are no supplies inside." he blurts out, looking at the lowered boarding ramp. Anakin eyes him form where he's standing next to him. "It's no long travel, old man. We'll be on Coruscant in less than a day." he smirks amusedly and Obi-Wan briefly wonders what may be funny about it.</p><p>Obi-Wan takes co pilot, more out of necessity than actual desire to be beside Anakin, and once the hyperspace route is set and the autopilot is running he decides that he's better off in the medical bay than in the cockpit. </p><p>He sits on the floor, looking around the empty room. He had had to sell everything, even the medical droid. It's confusing to be here, especially after the memories the Force has decided to make him live again through his dreams. He really hates it. Hates himself. No, not himself. Hates <em>Anakin</em>. That's better, that's right, that's how it is supposed to be. </p><p>Obi-Wan shakes his head to force that thought out of his head, to force himself not to dwell on it. He lies down on the freezing durasteel, eyes closed, trying to focus on taking his breathing to a regular pace, maybe even fall asleep, but his concentration is broken when he hears Anakin mumbling something from the cockpit. <em>Who the Hell is he talking to?</em></p><p>"-and apparently I'm supposed to be the responsible one. Because it doesn't seem like he is really prone to take up that role. And even if-"</p><p>Anakin stops whispering and gesturing abruptly, while his head whips back to face Obi-Wan, trying to make himself look bigger with straight shoulders and crossed arms behind the pilot's seat.</p><p>"Who were you talking to?"</p><p>Anakin studies him for a moment, forehead wrinkled and mouth slightly open. </p><p>"Who do you think I was talking to?"</p><p>"I don't know, the vastness of the galaxy?" Obi-Wan keeps his tone flat.</p><p>Anakin's lips open wider, as if he can't believe what Obi-Wan just said. It seems like Obi-Wan can't either. When did he start teasing childishly the way Anakin does?</p><p>"You're unbelievable. I remember I've already asked you not to talk to me again. And that was, what?, six standard years ago? I have been patient out of necessity, at this point I don't think I will be able to keep it up anymore."</p><p>The look Anakin wears is one of finality. Obi-Wan is left startled. Logically he knows that this is the best outcome, this is what he deserves. Maybe what he wanted from the beginning. But right not he's just thinking about how in those words he couldn't recognise the boy who talks to him in short sentences or witty remarks. He believes he might be <em>proud</em>.</p><p>Obi-Wan also wonders why his tease has apparently struck such a sensitive nerve. And then it hits him. </p><p><em>Oh</em>. </p><p>"You were talking to your mother, weren't you."</p><p>Anakin's eyes are heavy and probably turning gold, but he looks away from Obi-Wan before that can happen.</p><p>"Why can't you just leave me alone?"</p><p>His voice is heavier than his eyes. It's tense and threatens tears. Obi-Wan starts feeling heavy as well, his throat tight. </p><p>"I'm sorry." he whispers for nobody to hear, he's already closed himself in the medbay. </p><p>
  <em>It's right, it's what we need, it's what is best.</em>
</p><p>Obi-Wan feels like the Force disagrees.</p><p>—</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan turns back to te cockpit only when they're out of hyperspace. Anakin looks like his annoying, hateful self again, so he thinks the rest of the day might be easier.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"The coordinates we were given are of an apartment near the Senate Building, which is where I will be staying in order to be ready to intervene, were it needed." Obi-Wan explains from behind Anakin, position reminding him the feelings of mere hits earlier. Sorrow. Guilt. No, he can't indulge. The dreams are having an unneeded effect on his sureness, on his goals that are so eradicate in his own soul that he himself is convinced that the feelings he has made himself experience are no machination. He needs to have </span> <span class="s2">control </span> <span class="s1">on the situation, especially now that things are beginning to move. If he doesn't... well, he doesn't want to know. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they land, Anakin leaves for the Senate right away, while Obi-Wan settles down in the nearly empty apartment. It's a property of Sidious', clearly prepared for their arrival: food, clean sheets and towels, sonic shower. Everything Obi-Wan would need. Almost.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he almost immediately falls asleep, he has another nightmare. A memory, obviously. It it's not like the other ones. Those were of Anakin, of the same conversation they had in the hangar on Serenno. This one is a day later and it's also much worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>He has killed all his targets, Master. He was none the wiser about the identity of the woman.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he wakes up, he takes a decision. He grabs a black cloak; no need for a clean tunic, the one he went to sleep with is enough; he hangs is lightsaber in his belt, for precaution, he doesn't think he will need it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His heart is pounding while he dives through the lower levels of Coruscant. His heart is pounding in his hears, he can barely breath and even the air feels like thorns down in his throat, clutching his chest. If it weren't for his sensitivity to the Force, he wouldn't have been able to sweep through the people and the speeders, his eyes foggy just as his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It all feels unreal to him, as if he will soon find that what he knows to be true has actually been an illusion. That he is the person Anakin hates. The person who hates Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only one who hates Obi-Wan and is hated by him in return, is himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Shmi Skywalker is dead. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he is in front of his destination, he feels like he could explode. His heart and temples pounding. It is hard to breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has been here only once. Six standard years ago. That day he bought the modest house, obviously not for himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knocks, warily. Desperately. He's afraid nobody will answer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Obi-Wan?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs. He feels like he can start living again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hello, Shmi."</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter was an asshole to write</p><p>also neither obi-wan nor i take responsibility for his thoughts, he will get his shit together We Swear</p><p>anakin is more fun to write but i gotta give another chapter to obi after this because . flashback</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>leave kudos and comments hehe it's very appreciated</p><p>you might want my social media @s? idk <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/xwillgrahamxy">xwillgrahamxy</a> is my tumblr blog which i might start using??</p><p>till next time pals</p></blockquote></div></div>
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